if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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