We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
