I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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