K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
