He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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