Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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