Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
