He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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