so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
