Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dick very happy bro
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
