I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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