I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
