Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
