Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
