I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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