you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
