I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
soo... how was my night?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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