dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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