Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
