how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
