Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no you cant smoke seaweed
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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