Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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