I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
