I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
