CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
