Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize