Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my poor anus
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
