Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
