Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
