Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
