Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
where does the pee come out of this thing
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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