The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
