i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
