so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize