gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
