just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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