let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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