There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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