Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
