i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
