Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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