I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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