Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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