we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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