Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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