I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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