No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
