Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
