Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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