I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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