You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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