you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
