You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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