JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
