well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
