There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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