haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
