I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
did i just pee glitter
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
