For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
