Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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