Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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