Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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