i barfeds in our rink
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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