So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
