So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
