I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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