Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
