Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You are a genius and a whore.
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