oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize