I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
