Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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